Caro's Chronicles #4
Jan 13th - What Loading Feels Like
I'm lying on the couches in the Hart House library. Last night I couldn't sleep. It doesn't make sense, I’ve not trained this much since summer. It's just passed noon. I’m feverish, groggy, and inwardly cringing at the thought of a workout.
Spilling out from class, the Hart House library was the closest oasis of couches. My head’s buzzing, I'm lying on my backpack. My water bottle is uncomfortably wedged into the back of my neck. Movement is an unwanted effort and I'm to tired to rearrange it. I roll over half curled up on the couch and fall into an exhausted half sleep - the kind of sleep you steal in public.
I half dream, worry dreams, interspersed with clear conscious thought.
Will I get a chance to email that prof in time? What will the doctor have told Lindsay? Pulled muscle? By God I hope she's sensible and takes the time off. Christina, seems to be getting better. Weight, weight… I’m going to lose that bet, I know it… I’m not making 165lbs…we must do cardio.
The blog - I've got to find something funny for the blog! Real person jobs, yes yes, you have to face that too at some point.
Is it all in vain? All this. Are you fooling yourself as you sit waiting at a time in between dreaming things that are impossible? You don't brake 7 minutes, meh. You brake 7 minutes and what? meh. How many days now? 24? 25?
Elise is training hard, this is good and others too…more than last year. (Must eat right; healthy and lower volume.) Who's not been out in a while? Should I message them, will it help? I hate this going after people. Funny. Have I become Erg Lord?
I ran into Jesse and the first thing he told me was that he was going to go erg. I wonder, do they think that that is all I think about, that their training is the only measure of their worth to me? That workouts are all I care about? Funny funny people.
Joseph Conrad, I wish you were alive. You would have been interesting. There’s that poetry reading tonight, 6 o’clock. Why didn't I bring that book? Why didn't I wake up earlier? Why didn't I sleep? You think too much. Even now you are thinking; thinking about thinking too much. Simple nothing would be infinitely preferable.
The alarm will go off soon, you'll disturb everyone trying to study. You’ve not slept, better get up.
No no! My head is still spinning, just a bit more, then shluff yourself off to the AC and get through whatever it is you’ve settled on. Yes yes, this is a good plan. Secondaries? We'll see, they are for later - worry about the now. Shake it off, it's just loading. You’re tired. It's happening to everyone. This was your choice, now get up and deal with it.
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1.) 40' SS + Leg weights
2.) 30' bike
